


Luminarium

by AsphyxiaOrange



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Chaptered, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, EVERYONE IS FRIENDS ALSO, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Not ptsd, Post-Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3, Slow Burn, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, Therapy, Trauma, Will add more characters later tbh, but majority of it will be maki or kaito or both of them, most of this is just kaito and maki, ptsd related symptoms, so you don't have to fiddle with NOTPS here, there are no other ROMANTIC relationships, well everyone except the losers from the DR1 game theyre still dead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22415203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsphyxiaOrange/pseuds/AsphyxiaOrange
Summary: Maki wakes up in a hospital after the events of NDRV3's killing game. Coincidentally, all of her friends are there. Maki is now traumatized. Fortunately, all of her friends woke up months before she did, and are in stable enough places in life to help her work through the emotional trauma that comes with being reintroduced into the real world from the hacked Neo World Program- or are they?Why she and her friends were in the hacked program in the first place is another question.Yeah, this is a simulation AU- also a 'slow burn' romance.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede & Saihara Shuichi, Harukawa Maki & Momota Kaito, Harukawa Maki & Saihara Shuichi & Yumeno Himiko, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> The real Neo-world program was the friends we made along the way.

It was dark.

There were no feelings other than darkness- and the numb careless floating that came with it. It was dense- so thick that not a single blade of light could attempt to cut through.

Maki wasn’t sure when she fell asleep. She remembered the end of the “game,” and the survivors stepping out of the dome- and then nothing. Maybe they’d gone somewhere, and she’d remember when she woke up… if she could wake up.

There was a chance she was dead, maybe… somehow. Maybe she was assassinated- wasted away in the blink of an eye as she had done… supposedly… to many others in the past. She would sigh if she could, but there was no sighing here, just nothingness.

Or was there?

She focused, and slowly inhaled. Yes, she could breathe here, so maybe she was still living after all. Unless of course her breath was only a memory of what breathing used to feel like. The Assassin’s ghost limb was her entire body.

Foggy and in the distance, she started to hear a voice- muffled and soothing. It was a voice that was meant to be polite and sweet- a sugary tone that drew you in. Maki wasn’t sure how she was supposed to listen. It was quite too muddied and distant for her to focus on it.

Maki took another deep breath and tried to move at all, but nothing did. She could hear the voice clearer at least, the more she focused towards it.

“Now, now,” the sweet voice coaxed, “are you waking up?” She asked.

Maki tried to speak, but her mouth wouldn’t move. Her own body was betraying her.

The more she focused, she heard the woman clearer- she was explaining something to someone, but Maki couldn’t ascertain what any of it meant. There were other voices- airy and whispering.

Beeping.

That wasn’t a voice. There was some kind of machine in the room.

It was constant.

Rhythmic.

Familiar.

Was she here before? Or was this some sort of De Ja Vu that she couldn’t identify?

The sweet voice continued. “She hasn’t responded, so don’t be surprised if she doesn’t blink today. If you can hear me, can you blink twice?” It asked, just as sweetly as before. Her voice almost sounded familiar as well- similar to Tsumugi’s.

Maki could almost feel the hair raise on the back of her neck when she thought of her- the mastermind. Maki blinked twice, or tried to, for the voice, no matter how much she wanted to resist it.

The room came alive with gasps, excited cheers, and celebration. She couldn’t make out a single word, but it felt like walking in on a surprise party while the lights were still out. It was genuine- warm.

Someone stepped forward, and she could hear their footsteps clearly. The _skrrrrrt_ scooting of a chair on laminate tile followed. She could feel warmth- someone placed their hand on hers. She was laying down, she could tell that now.

The hand moved and Maki could tell that there were two hands on her arm, not just one. One was smaller than the other.

“Hey Maki…” One of them spoke.

It was smooth and gentle.

It was Shuichi.

Maki blinked twice again to make sure than he knew she was still listening.

“Are you okay!?” The other voice asked- high and almost confusing.

It was Himiko.

Himiko was the other hand.

Maki wasn’t sure how she was expected to answer that question. Maki blinked twice again.

Her vision started to turn into colors- from absolute darkness into blobs of pop art- yellow and purple splotches that danced around the room, blinking. The room was filled to the brim with those splotches.

Maki’s fingers curled around. Shuichi and Himiko let go- surprised. Maki was just the same that her fingers could move at all. In fact, her whole arm could move just a little bit. The room erupted with sounds again, and from the odd shapes dancing around it was evident that the room had a lot of people in it.

Who were these people? She had no one. Why were they here in… in… she turned her head slightly, hesitantly to the side and saw the familiar leaping and dips of a digital heart monitor. Her heart started to race a little. What were all of these people doing in her hospital room?

The sweet voice chimed in again. “Oh! Oh! Don’t panic! Don’t panic it’s okayyyyY!” She sad, with her voice a little higher and a bit panicked. “You had a reaction coming out of it but you’re okay now Harukawa!!” Mikan spoke with her words strung together like a badly made banner.

This woman was a nervous wreck. Maki did not know this voice, but she could read her fast. Timid, and yet somehow allowed to be the authority of the room. This led to some questions, but it had to be the nurse.

The blob that seemed to be this nurse scrambled around while she spoke and then tripped, fell, and sounded like she was tangled in something on the floor. Maki grimaced. Was she really in the hands of a medical professional? Yikes.

Maki blinked twice again and tried to slow her breathing. If Shuichi and Himiko were there, she trusted that she was at least in a half-safe location.

Someone bend down to help the nurse up. The colorful blobs started to form into more solid shapes. The group of people towards the back of the room looked like some form of analogous blob. There were hushed whispers about the nurse’s fall. She didn’t want to look at the blob, even though her eyes begged for her to peek. Stubbornly, she kept her eyes on Shuichi.

Shuichi started speaking, as if he was queued in. “Danganronpa was a simulation,” he explained.

Himiko leaped up “You’re okay! We’re all okay! It’s Over!” She exclaimed.

Maki furrowed her brows and squinted at her friends with a curious expression. Were they saying what she thought they were? Or were they just talking about exiting the dome. Of course the three of them were okay.

Heart rate up.

She took a deep breath. She felt that something was seriously off, though. The colorful blobs started to turn into values- black and white. The outlines of Shuichi’s face was visible, but it felt like she had tunnel vision anyways.

“Does that really cover it, though?” Kibo asked. The group shushed him immediately.

It took Maki a few additional moments to think, and then to consider that Kibo should not be there. Maybe she really was dead after all. Her eyes panned over across the room and she squinted again. There was a figure that had to be Kibo standing nearby. The only humanoid shape with LEDs lighting up from their body, even through their baggy form, had to be him.

Her throat croaked. She tried to speak, but as before, nothing would come out of her mouth. She raised one shaky arm and tried to write his name out in the air, but she could barely manage just _lifting_ it in the first place. Her arm thudded back down to her side.

She tried to see more of the room. The nurse was still half-tangled on the floor and started saying “Oh no! Oh no!” in a squeal as she was paying attention to the beeping on Maki’s heart monitor. It was set to be unusually loud, now that Maki thought about it.

The nurse stumbled over “Don’t panic!!” she was practically crying for some reason. Mikan nearly tripped again on her way to the heart monitor and turned the volume lower. “It’s okay!!” She reassured everyone loudly, even though she was the only one who seemed like she was panicking. The crowd snickered.

The more color that seeped into her vision, the worse her feeling of ill felt.

Maki didn’t pay much attention to Mikan. Another voice caught her attention as they gently excused themselves past the nurse and towered behind Shuichi and Himiko.

Heart rate up. Was she seeing things right?

There was another “ _Wah_!” from nurse Mikan.

Kaito peaked out from between the other few faces and looked curiously at Maki.

Heart rate up.

Was this real? Maki reached up with her shaky hand again. She tried desperately to speak again- to say anything, but not even a croak escaped her this time. She shook.

Shuichi raised his eyebrows and sidestepped a quick little step. Maki’s hand reached for Kaito’s arm and touched it. It was solid. No apparition here. He was really there- or were all of her senses betraying her?

Her eyes were wide as she could finally focus- finally see.

Maki tried to climb- to raise her arm up towards his shoulder, but she was still too weak, and the shaking only got worse as her arm rose higher.

Mikan nervously wrung her hands together behind them, just out of Maki’s eyeshot.

Kaito grinned and leaned down a little for Maki to reach with an “Oh.”

Her arm smacked him in the face accidentally. The nearby crowd was full of snickers and giggles again. Maki’s deadpan expression only lent to the laughs they garnered from it. Maki patted his face all over- this _had_ to be the real him. Her still-quivering hand slid down his cheek, and then… she grabbed his facial hair between her fingers and yanked. Kaito grunted in surprise.

Maki’s face crinkled up as she withdrew her hands and covered her mouth. Still shocked. Her big red eyes circled the room as she counted her friends off one by one- Rantaro, Kaede, Ryoma, Kirumi, Angie, Tenko, Korekiyo… _Miu_ , Gonta… even _Kokichi_ … that seemed about everyone. Maki hiccuped and chocked for a moment, almost as if tears were begging to form, but part of her body refused to produce them.

It didn’t help that Shuichi beat her to it. He held himself and offered a weak smile. “I told myself I wouldn’t cry but…” he watched Maki with care and attention, “But this is the first time we’ve all been together again.” He put his hand over his mouth.

The rest of the class exchanged happy and tearful glances. Kaito put his hand on Shuichi’s shoulder, and Himiko and Kaede copied him. Maki found it difficult not to cry with them. She was overwhelmed.

Nurse Mikan waved her arms about and ran past Shuichi into the center of the room, “Okay, Okay, Sorry!! I need to check Harukawa for a few more things! Please don’t hate me, but-”

Mikan was interrupted by Tenko placing a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” She asked, concerned.

Mikan Shrieked. “Ah!! I’ll be anything you want me to be! Please don’t hurt me!” She shivered and shied away with her arms ready to block any stray hands or criticisms.

Tenko squinted. “Tell me what disgusting man hurt you and I will gladly erase them from the face of the planet.”

Mikan shrieked again, even more confused than before. She cowered away from what she supposed was an attacker.

“Tenko…” Himiko shook her head and went to assist her by trying to calm them both down. Kirumi tried to help, too, and Angie and Kokichi were hard at work somehow making things worse.

Maki’s tired arms returned to her bedside and one of the snaked down. She pinched the hem of Kaito’s sleeve between her thumb and her pointer finger tightly as his hand still leaned on the edge of her bed. He glanced back at her whilst everyone else looked on at the commotion between Tenko and Mikan were stirring up.

Her expression was blank.

He didn’t know what it meant.

It seemed almost like she was wearing a mask once more.

He was not fond of that idea.

Was she back to where she was, distrusting her friends again? He could understand why, but he had hoped she could have looked past it by now.

Maki wanted to slip her hand into his. Even if he were real, and even if he were fake, she wanted to feel the warmth of his hand- but she couldn’t do it. All she could do was stare, speechless, and blink three times to try and let him know that she was listening. Was that too selfish of her? Even the part of her that was still confused and wanted to know what the hell was going on was pushed down by the weighted feeling in her chest- her desire to be able to speak with all of them. She didn’t even know what to say, but she wanted, _needed,_ to say it.

The crowd quieted down as the doctor apparent cleared his throat and entered the room. Mikan immediately began to grovel and apologize, to the point where she was almost a puddle on the floor with how she formed into a bow.

The doctor waved his hands and everyone and then looked to Maki. “I see that she’s awake,” he nodded.

He was given a frantic “Yes sir! Yes sir!” over and over and _over_ again from Mikan.

Gonta held Tenko back at Kirumi’s orders to prevent an altercation born out of misunderstanding. Needless to say, Kokichi was disappointed that the fun had ended so soon. The group bombard the doctor with questions at the speed of a bullet and he waved his arms to try and get them to shut up. Half of the questions were very odd and very particularly irrelevant- some of them purposely so.

When waving hands failed to work, the doctor ordered “Everyone out!” loudly. The entire class complained, and Mikan apologized profusely as the two medical staff attempted to shuffle the group out of the room. Even Shuichi and Kaede followed.

Kaito meant to follow also but stopped short when he realized that Maki now had a white-knuckle grip on his sleeve. He gave an awkward look back to the medical staff and Shuichi, who was also trying to figure out what the hold-up was.

“Uh… doc?” Kaito pointed to Maki’s death-grip.

The doctor sighed. “These hopes peak students get more and more-” He remembered that Mikan was standing next to him and paused. He knew that even just a few more words were more trouble than it was worth. He sighed.

Kaito tried to apologize and then looked to Maki, “You know you’ll have to let go of my sleeve eventually. I’m not going anywhere! There’s no need to be so tense!” he said in hopes that it would enough encouragement. Truthfully, he could have pulled away from her grasp at any moment in her weakened state, but that wasn’t what mattered. He tugged it lightly, but not enough to loosen her grip.

“Hey Doc! I don’t think I can go anywhere!” his words were almost disappointed, but his tone was ridiculously optimistic and cheerful. He spoke with a smile.

The doctor watched with lowered eyes. He was very, very tired of taking care of hopes peak students. He looked at Maki- her glare far surpassed his tiredness. He took a glance at her chart for a moment- noticed _Ultimate Assassin_ , and then looked back up at her again. That was the nail that sealed the idea. “Don’t get in the way,” he said. The exhaustion was careful, creeping, but it was there In his voice.

Maki let go and Kaito took a step back. He sat down in one of the chairs, wide and open, and gave Maki a reassuring grin.

Maki looked away.


	2. Stay

Kaede yawned. She leaned on Himiko’s shoulder and her eyelids wobbled. Himiko was already out like a light, and the dim e-lights above them kept the room at a drowsy glow.Their friends had left when visiting hours ended, and only a handful of them remained in the lobby waiting.

Kirumi had made them promise, with stern words, that they would keep everyone updated on the situation. Shuichi wasn’t going to dare try and ignore that request- he knew better. He didn’t have much to update them with the entire evening.

As night fell, Shuichi barely had any news from Kaito, either. He wasn’t expecting too much, since most of the tests were done when Maki was first admitted months prior.

Shuichi leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. He could remember the panic as if it was yesterday. When they were being taken out of the machines, Maki just… wouldn’t respond. She wasn't  _ there _ . She looked pale, sickly, like she was already dead. They had already lost so many friends, and even with many of them back, the pain of losing another was too much to bear. It still weighed on his heart, as it had every moment up until. Was there a chance that something would go wrong, and they would lose Maki again?

Kaede watched him with drowsy eyes and placed her hand on his from across Himiko. Shuichi almost jumped. After a moment, Kaede gently withdrew her hand and further snuggled up to the sleepy Himiko. “It’ll be alright…” she said drowsily. 

“Yeah,” Shuichi sighed. He knew that Kaede was probably right, but he couldn’t help but worry. 

Kaede started to mumble and her eyes flickered towards shutting. “I think...s...smm...kay…” was all that Shuichi could make out. 

He looked at her, “Can you repeat that?” He asked her and tapped her on the ahoge.

“Spaghetti,” she mumbled again a little clearer.

_Oh_. Shuichi fiddled with his phone to text Kirumi. If they weren’t home to let Spaghetti out, there could be trouble, but he wasn’t about to leave the girls to sleep in the lobby alone. He figured Kirumi would be up to it, especially since she loved helping others. Though he wasn’t a fan of using her for convenience, he knew it would make her feel better that she wasn’t able to stay overnight. After he was done with that, a notification popped up from another text thread- Kaito’s half-typed updates from upstairs.

Shuichi tapped the back of his phone with impatience. “Kaito says they’re letting him stay in the room,” he mused.

Kaede didn’t open her eyes, she just said “mhm…” quietly.

“Says they just need to check her once more in the morning, but he’s doing a bad job of explaining it to me,” Shuichi shook his head, “I can’t understand half of these words.”

Kibo paused the videogame he was playing in his head and looked over. The pause menu was still visible reflected in his eyes. “Do you think she’ll be released soon?” he asked. Shuichi stared at the little Mario stuck midair- _was that a new upgrade?_

Shuichi shrugged, “I’ll ask,” he said before returning to his phone. Shuichi didn’t expect an immediate response, but he couldn’t help the impatient feeling.

Upstairs, kaito sighed. He looked up from his phone. Maki was staring at him in the low-light. Her eyelashes were taught, but heavy. She was trying desperately to stay awake in the fear that if she closed her eyes, he would somehow disappear. Her eyes were glassy and cold, it was a wonder that she was even really there at all. She seemed distant. Her lids trembled.

He ran a hand through his hair. She needed to sleep. He wasn’t sure what he could possibly say to encourage sleep. He’d already told her a handful of times that he wasn’t going anywhere, but she was being stubborn. Even with her unbreakable spirit, she would fall asleep eventually. 

She reached her arm out of the covers and let it hand loosely from the bedside. He grabbed the sides of the metal chair and scooted a little closer.

Her expression still didn’t change. She continued to watch him and almost nodded off. She attempted to keep herself upright, but she couldn’t help sliding back into a sleep-inducing position.

Kaito’s phone went off again, and both of them were drawn to the quiet buzzing sound. Maki’s eyes were wide open again. Kaito silenced the phone, as he cursed himself for not doing so a few minutes before.

“It’s just Shuichi,” he informed her, casually. He typed out a quick gobbledygook reply and then put the phone away.

Maki nodded. He wasn’t sure if it was because she was acknowledging what he said or because she was trying to stay awake. He hoped she was falling asleep. He gently supported her hanging wrist and set it back on her bed.

She buried her face in the pillows to hide the yawn that she couldn't otherwise stifle. Tears were left lingering on the corners of her half-shut eyes.

“You’re something else- spirit unbreakable,” he wanted to encourage her, but he was also afraid that being too loud would keep her awake. “I remember when you told me about your harsh training, and I knew that even when you didn’t wake up from the sim that you’d be alright,” he spike as earnestly as he could and held back as much of his usual energy as possible. He wasn’t exactly telling the truth, but she didn’t have to know that.

He had to believe in her- had to have her know he did. It would only worry her if he told her how worried he was- that was how he saw it. “Now I need you to believe in me, since I believe in you,” he said. If he were lucky, she wouldn’t catch that the line was from an anime that Kibo showed him.

Maki blinked slowly and produced her hand from the bed again and let it fall from the side. He looked at it. _Did she want to shake on it?_ That made enough sense to him. He folded his hand into hers in order to shake it. He shook it once and tried to let go, but she now had an established grip on his palm and wasn’t about to let him go anywhere.

He tugged, not sure what she was doing, but he could tell that it was using all of her energy to hold on. Maybe  _ this _ was her agreeing. 

Maki slowly closed her eyes. She was sure that this way, he couldn’t slip through her fingertips and disappear. She took a deep breath once more and smushed her face into the pillows.

Kaito was pretty sleepy himself. He frowned. Sleeping in the shitty plastic chair was going to kill his back- he could already see that. He sighed and looked down at her hand in his. It would be okay, he told himself. She was safe- they were all safe. He ran his thumb across the back of her hand- even with all her training and torture and pain, her hands were still soft. He rubbed his face with his other hand. Was it selfish to be the only one up here? He wondered.

He looked at his phone again. Shuichi was going to get one of the classmates to bring Maki a change of clothes the next day. That was good- that made some things easier. 

Kaito offered to drive Maki back home when she got discharged. His boss would understand what was going on- they already knew the gist of it. Part of him had been hoping she’d be down for a cab or the private vehicles in the vicinity, but it seemed like she really didn’t want to be alone- and he understood that. 

He leaned back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling. 

He closed his eyes and tried to rest.


	3. The DIS Compound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maki leaves the "hospital," but everything outside of her hospital room is highly suspect.

Once she left the “hospital room,” she could feel that something was wrong. The rest of the building was barely like a hospital once they exited the ward she was in. Past that one hallway, and the waiting room at the end, there were no other areas that resembled any sort of hospital. It looked more like a lab.

The entire structure seemed to have different “wings” full of odd studios built for research- it almost reminded her of her own “lab” from inside the simulation. She could overhear people passing by- odd people- caught in conversations that she wasn’t sure she was supposed to hear.

“Fourth time’s the charm,” one said, sarcastically.

“If this keeps happening, the therapy wing is going to have to take up the whole building,” another replied.

“...I feel like it’s already just that.”

When people started to notice Maki and Kaito in the hallway, their whispers slowed to a hush. To Maki, that was a terrible sign. Was this not a place of honesty? Or was it some other concern? She took a mental note. She wondered if there were more things to be hidden from her. She looked to Kaito. What about her friends? Did they know something that she didn’t? Did Kaito know what those hushed whispers meant? Would he tell her?

Maki crossed her arms over her chest and ran her hands down her upper arms. At the end of the hallway was an elevator. The rooms near it were cascaded in a cobalt blue light. Ex-rays lined the walls. Why wasn’t this near what looked like the hospital rooms, she wondered.

They stepped into the elevator, and Kaito checked his watch before he pressed the button for the lobby. Maki looked to him, worried. She hoped he would see. She had so many questions and no way to ask them- even then, she wasn’t sure that her location could be trusted. She reached out an arm and brushed his wrist to get his attention.

For a fleeting moment, when he looked at her, he seemed out of it. He wasn’t prepared in that moment to wear the face he often wore for her before. He looked tired.

Maki almost missed it.

He was quick to course-correct into a wide, reassuring smile that he always gave. He titled his head, “What’s up?” he asked, loudly.

Maki’s cheeks puffed up and she gripped his sleeve with her death-grip again.

“Oh, you- you worried about something?” he asked.

Maki nodded.

“Don’t be!” he exclaimed and pointed to himself, “Because I! The Luminary of the stars will guide you home!”

Maki’s eyes lowered. She was suspicious of him as well to be honest, but there was no way to indicate that anyways. She didn’t trust that they were really in a safe location. She tugged on the sleeve harder. He let her pull him a few inches closer. Their shoulders were now half a foot apart. He put his hands on his hips, which also took her death-grip hand with him. He looked around, scratched the top of his head with his otherwise free hand and sighed. “It really is going to be Okay,” he said softly, but he didn’t look at her when he said this, which made it all the easier for her to convince herself that it could be a lie.

Kaito looked up and watched the floors slowly change to the lobby. He didn’t have time to explain it all in the elevator- and trying to could almost get him in trouble. It wasn’t that she wasn’t allowed to know, because she was, but other people in the lobby might not be privy to that information. Maki released her sleeve-hostage and held her own hands together.

Kaito nodded as the elevator number turned to a 1. “Stay calm,” he whispered. Was he talking to himself, or to her? The doors opened, and the lobby looked as normal as could be for some random cover business. 

Maki couldn’t help but notice that there were ten more buttons underneath the lobby button for ten underground floors, very obvious on display. She stared at them and almost forgot to get out of the elevator.

In the lobby, people milled about- they were far few and in between. Maybe one or two people were inside besides the receptionist.

Maki looked to her right. Armed guards stood at the entrance past a few metal detectors and a large security gate. She grabbed Kaito’s arm without looking away from the guards. He brushed her arm away and walked through the metal detector. No one paid any attention as he set it off and walked past the armed guards. He waved to one of them as if they could’ve been friends.

He looked back to Maki, who had yet to cross the still-beeping detector. She had a look on her face- the classic _are-you-kidding-me_ sort of face. She looked back at the receptionist and the two people in the lobby. They did not give a rat’s ass. Maki walked through the security gate and eyed the guards suspiciously as she passed by them. They didn’t even look at her. 

Maki blinked at the vehicle pulled up to the curb- a dark car with tinted windows. Kaito, who had already let himself into the car, rolled down the window of the shotgun side from the drivers’ seat. He looked at her and waited.

Maki leaned against the window and stared back at him. They did this for an awkward amount of time before he had to ask if she was going to get in the car or not.

Maki closed her eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath. She opened the back-right side and slid into the back seat. The windows of the car weren't tinted on the inside.

Maki was more awake than she should’ve been, with how terribly she slept the night before. She stared out of the car window, but kept herself at a 45 degree angle so she wouldn’t lose sight of her driver. The clothes she wore were familiar, and all the same felt like they belonged to a stranger. The other girls had gone to her apartment beforehand and fetched her something she could wear, just as Kaito told her they would. 

She knew that she must have owned this shirt- she knew that Shuichi wouldn’t run a plastic bag full of someone else's clothes to her with the claim that she was the owner. She knew that it couldn’t have been a lie in a full capacity- save for her own suspicions that she could not even trust her own eyes and ears. Did they all feel this way once they woke up, or was it just her? She wanted to ask, but her throat felt wrong every time she tried to speak. 

Her own suspicions were bad enough, but the entire situation was even more off the moment she stepped out of her… “Hospital room.” Maki looked back at the building as they pulled away, there were large letters on the front, which likely stood as an acronym: DIS, but nothing else to identify what the place really was.

Maki turned to face the front at an angle again. What was the deal with an apartment he had mentioned? She couldn’t remember having any other living quarters before the school… and the killing game. Did something happen to the school, she wondered. Would her questions even be answered? It seemed like for whatever reason, they were keeping her in the dark about some of it.

  
Whatever reason that could be, it seemed to be something that Kaito was also aware of. Did he know? Her thoughts were a bother- a continuous circle of the same ideas until the car eventually shuttered into park.

Maki watched Kaito carefully- was there any sign that whatever he was doing was somehow a trick? Besides the elevator, she hadn’t seen a single moment that seemed ‘out of character.’ If something really was wrong, surely he would’ve given her some kind of signal, right? Then again… she could still remember his untimely end in the simulation. He wasn’t exactly honest about his health or even the case… he’d proven himself able to imitate Kokichi almost perfectly with a simple voice changer and a script. He could act if he needed to. In that case, there was also an enemy present- monokuma- was there an enemy present now?

“Makiroll?” Kaito asked. He stood there with the car door open. There he was- alive and well. Would he still lie to her? Would he lie if it were life or death? He had before. She took a deep breath and removed herself from the vehicle.

He closed the door.

He wanted to ask if she was okay, but the answer seemed obvious even to him. 

Maki looked up. The apartment didn’t look familiar at all. Kaito walked past her with a key and unlocked the door for her. It looked nice enough, but it seemed the doorknob wasn’t exactly in order- it jammed when he struggled with the lock and key. The front door had a peephole, and she couldn't help but notice that there was a camera above the door. 

She followed him into the apartment.

It looked small from the outside, but was a surprisingly roomy one-bedroom abode. He set the keys on the counter and looked around the kitchen, which Maki stood at the edge of. He opened the fridge. 

“Kirumi cleaned and even stocked the fridge, looks like,” he said casually.

Maki’s eyes trailed around the room. The whole place was very western-styled. There were dog treats in a plastic container on the counter.

Few entrances and exits, and few advantageous windows if someone was looking to kill her. She wondered about the camera she’d spotted. Was there more? Was someone watching her here?

Kaito milled about for a bit. Both of them could tell that things felt… tense, if nothing else. This isn't the place to talk through issues. Would it ever be the time or place, though? He closed the fridge and swiped his hands back and forth before planting them on his hips. He had no idea what he was expected to do now. This was as far as his instructions went. 

She was just _staring_ at him.

He cleared his throat. His “job” was done here, so there wasn’t much of a reason to keep standing in her kitchen. He took one step towards the door, but Maki matched him. He took his step back, and then stepped once again, this time faster. Maki copied.

She was surprised, but her reflexes responded immediately anyways. He took a few steps towards the door, and she took just as many steps towards him. She reached her hand out, but he was holding nothing to give to her.

“What?” he asked, almost in a whining sort of way, as it seemed very clearly that she was asking for something.

Maki audibly sighed through her nose. She held her hand out further with her open palm face up. Did she want him to put the keys in her hand? He glanced at the counter. He wasn’t going to do that- that was silly. Kaito looked at the door for a moment, but then took a step towards her.

A moment before, he wouldn’t have seen the shaking of her outreached fingers, or how much more pained her expression seemed when he took that step forward. He could see it- the breaking through of the feelings that everyone else had felt after leaving the simulation. How could he be so blind, he wondered. Of course, Maki would be feeling that same fear. That same shock. How could she not? How had he come to assume that she would be stronger than the rest of them, and miss that she was no different- was he that tired?

He stepped forward again, and another layer seemed to peel away - another crack as he offered his hand and she tried to look away and avoid breaking the mask open. She was trying to be as strong as she had tried to be, but after everything she’d been through it became so hard.

A small sound- a squeak that escaped from the back of her throat. Her voice betrayed her. 

Kaito pulled his friend close into a hug and she squeaked again. It wasn’t the sort of sound that came with shock, but rather, a telltale sign of someone trying their best not to have a breakdown in the middle of their kitchen. 

Kaito wondered if this is a place where he should be playing dumb, or just keep his mouth shut. He could pretend that she wasn’t crying, maybe, but he wasn’t sure how effective that’d be.

Maki still wasn’t sure if she was even in a safe place yet, but she couldn’t keep things down any longer. Her emotions were like vomit and no matter how hard she tried, her stomach was doing kickflips upside down and sideways. Maki felt like she was melting into a blob. A gross, disgusting blob. She couldn’t stop crying into his shirt. 

Kaito tried to take a deep breath. He still wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing exactly and how long was too long to hold a crying friend in their kitchen. Not to say he wouldn’t do the same for his other friends, because he would, but he was also passively aware that she was a woman, unlike say, Shuichi. He wasn’t trying to think of it as anything weird, and he wanted to kick himself that his brain even offered the suggestion, but he couldn’t help but suddenly remember some of the words Maki said before he left the simulation.

He twisted himself a bit sideways and then patted her on the head to try and brush it off. Kaito cleared his throat again. “You must be shivering and crying because you’re… cold,” he said, specific to avoid any emotions she may be feeling at the moment. “Maybe you need a blanket!”

Maki was so busy crying that she almost missed how that made no goddamn sense. She looked up for a moment, still sobbing like a child, but very confused. She wasn’t freezing, she was _having a breakdown_. She stared, but she didn’t look nearly as intimidating as she usually did.

Kaito pried her off of him by her shoulders and led her to the couch in front of the TV and sat her down. Maki, still crying and dumbfounded, let him guide her like an automaton limb with a low battery. Kaito took his jacket off and threw it over her shoulders before disappearing down the hallway.

Maki had no idea what was going on, but she drew the jacket around her and curled into a ball. The TV was off, but in it she could see her distorted reflection. She didn’t hardly recognize the person she saw- this weak, tortured thing. It shouldn’t be her. She was supposed to be something else- an untouchable assassin. Even when she changed as a result of the simulation, and she didn’t even feel like that second person. The second Maki had resolve, at least. She was no longer either of these Makis. Third Maki felt like she had nothing- _was_ nothing.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the irregular thumping of Kaito’s returning footsteps from the end of the hall. In his arms now was a tangled mass of fluffy blankets that had been scavenged from their resting places. He paused in the threshold between the living room and the hallway and then continued to waddle over to her. He threw the blankets on her in a heap, joyfully. 

Maki stayed still, still engulfed in the warmth of the blankets. She was part of the pile for a few more moments. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. She slowly moved the top layer aside and peeked out from underneath.

Kaito sat himself on the floor with one of the stray blankets and had a remote that he must’ve gotten from somewhere in the living room. When he turned on the TV, it was the news, and Kaito was quick to change it. Maki barely caught a few words of it: _“Recent Outbreak-_ ” and then nothing but static.

“Oh, warning,” Kaito said as he changed the channel a second time. “I don’t suggest watching the news until you’re part way through therapy.”

She looked down at him, straight-faced. Her tears were still dripping down every now and then, but she had seemingly hit a bottleable equilibrium. She raised her eyebrows.

“I _iiiiiits_ pretty upsetting to watch sometimes,” he said. It was good enough an answer, but also quite too vague for her taste. _And what did he mean by that?_ But she did not ask, and he did not elaborate. All he did was smile again.

Maki pulled the blankets tightly around herself. She stared at him for a little while longer as he looked for something to watch. Something still seemed wrong, as it had seemed in the elevator. When he was convinced that she wasn’t looking, his eyelids lowered and he almost seemed… _angry_. She could still see that through his reflection, even if the images on the TV were distracting. 

Something really was wrong, but she couldn't figure out what it was. The situation was already worrying enough from the hospital, to the cameras of the house.

Was it just her that felt that way?

He kept flipping the remote until he landed on a corny action movie. Maki hadn’t watched a lot of movies growing up, so it definitely didn’t feel too familiar. Her heavy eyes didn't last very long, even though she hadn’t done much that day. She drifted and felt heavy. Eventually, she fell fast asleep.


	4. Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up and not knowing where you are.

Maki woke up in a cold sweat. She bolted up and her hands searched frantically for anything that could be used as a weapon- but there was nothing by her bedside that she could use properly. There was an alarm clock, which could maybe work if she really needed it. Her hands settled on the alarm clock. Her eyes adjusted and darted around the room.

One breath, two breaths- three. There was nothing there but an empty room. Her eyes focused on a shadow in the corner of the room. Was there something there? She used her second hand to flip the lamp on- the first hand ready to defend at a split-second’s notice.

  
Light on.

  
The room was still empty.

  
Maki took a deep breath. She didn’t recognize the room she was in at all. Her head felt heavy, warm- and like shit. She wanted to double over into a ball, but her paranoia made her resist. She let go of the clock and held her forehead instead.  
She flipped the covers off- she was still wearing her clothes from the night before. Curiously, it took her this long to notice a monitor in the room with a display of many, smaller squares. She blinked a few times at it. Each square was a location in the apartment. It became apparent that the camera feeds all led there. Though, that did not guarantee that she was the only one who had access to the feed.

The door to the room was closed, but unlocked. She opened it, and could see the same kitchen and livingroom from last night just down the long hall. Some odd purring noise came from down the hall. She passed the washer and dryer, out of the corner of her eye she spotted a large dog carrier tucked away beside the machines.  
It was empty.  
It was dark.

She kept walking.

As she neared the living room she could now identify the ‘purring noise’ as Kaito snoring. He looked like he’d been thrown over the couch- limbs messily sprawled out like a starfish. A blanket was haphazardly thrown across half of his back.

Maki hesitated to start looking for medicine. Instead, she took a step towards Kaito, and adjusted the blanket properly. He mumbled something and buried his face further into the couch. He pulled his limbs inward. He was far too big to be sleeping on that couch.

There was no way that he could actually be comfortable.

Maki would’ve stayed longer, but her head was starting to reel. She doubled back to the kitchen to start searching for medication. The lower cabinets were fruitless, with no pain medication to be found there. She doubted if there was any of it at all in the house considering… she was likely still high-risk, or something like that.

She sighed.

She wasn’t going to sleep if she couldn’t find them anyways, regardless of the conditions she had trained in before.

She went back to bed and stared at the ceiling. At some point, she may have fallen asleep again, but she could not tell. To her, it felt like she was awake until dawn.

\--

Kaito’s eyes slowly opened. The sunlight was already steaming in through the glass doors at the back of the living room. He wasn’t sure exactly where he was, and that was fine. He leaned up and took a look around. He was still in Maki’s apartment as he was the night before.

He rubbed his hands all over his face. He hadn’t paid attention to how much time had passed the night before; he simply waited for Maki to doze off before he carried her to her room. He almost thought it wasn’t real. It felt like a dream in the moment and every moment afterwards. He never imagined that she would really wake up. Part of him had given up a long time ago- and now she was here. She had a lot of therapy she probably needed, sure, but it was her. He was tempted to close his eyes again and go back to sleep on the couch.

But he knew he probably didn’t need more sleep. He thought I’d had enough sleep… probably… er… how late did I actually stay up? He wondered.

Kaito kicked his feet over the side of the couch. It was weird to see the sun on a weekday- it almost made things feel like a weekend. He started to stand up off the couch and then froze- was it a weekday? He suddenly couldn’t remember. He flung himself up from the couch and started to frantically look for his cellphone. What time even is it? He wondered, and, Why didn’t I set an alarm!?

He finally found his phone on the counter and it was already 8am. Kaito grumbled and put his phone down. He really put himself into this one. Someone would probably be calling from work in the next half hour, he just knew it. He tried to quickly pocket his belongings and habitually turned towards the nearest rfiedge, but then pivoted away. No, he told himself, that fridge was not stocked for me. That food is for Maki.

He smacked himself on the forehead- Maki! She was going to be late for therapy, too! Kaito dashed down the hallway and nearly ran her over when she appeared right in front him and walked out of the bathroom. Kaito shrieked and threw his hands up.

Maki flinched- not from surprise, but because her migraine felt like it was still eating away at her brain. Maki looked like she was about to kill him. Her face had gone beyond dark, and she looked like a ratty mess.

“WOAH!” He held his arms close to his body defensively.

Maki held her head with both hands and hoped that he was good at charades.

Kaito tilted his head.

Maki sighed.

She pointed to her forehead.

Still nothing.

Maki tried to use sign language to tell him that her head hurt the best that she could, but her hands had trouble making the right symbols as they shook.

Kaito blinked a few times, “I don’t know JSL…” his shoulders sunk. He wished that she could just speak and tell him, but he knew that things weren’t that simple.

Maki looked exasperated. She didn’t want to keep doing this- she felt the effort wasn’t worth it. She walked past him and continued to look through the cabinets.

Kaito looked at his phone again. “ ‘Rumaki, we gotta get going- you were supposed to be with the nurse… ten minutes ago,” he said quietly.

Maki paused and looked at him for a second. Not because she was concerned about being late for some mandatory sessions, but rather, she was taken aback because it almost sounded like he had just straight called hre Maki. She lightly shook her head and returned searching the bathroom; she double checked all of the same places she had checked the night before. She flung her hands up in frustration and then slammed the cabinets shut. When she looked back at him again, she bottled her anger and returned to looking monotonous and emotionless.

Kaito walked up to her as she tumbled her way to the kitchen. He took a step forward. It was tempting to help steady her, but he was convinced that she would want to walk alone. Still, he couldn’t help it.

He followed her, and she was already in the kitchen leaning over a piece of paper and a pencil. Her hand shook when she tried to pick it up, and she could barely hold it to the paper.

Kaito placed a hand on her back. She stiffened up, surprised, but that did not make it any easier for her to write. Anything she put down looked like illegible scribbles.  
A croak came from her mouth. Tears threatened her. She couldn’t even do something this simple.  
Kaito put his hand on hers to steady it.

Maki inhaled sharply.  
She exhaled slowly. Frozen for a moment, Kaito wondered if that action was too much, He knew it wouldn’t necessarily be the most comfortable, but he didn’t know how else to help. Was he supposed to sit there and watch her lose her patience?  
Maki gulped. She tried another word, steadied by his hand, but it was too much to attempt. Kaito squinted at it, but he still couldn’t read it. Maki took a deep breath and opted for a symbol instead.  
“RX,” She wrote as best as she could.

Kaito picked up the paper and squinted at it again. “Medicine!” He exclaimed.

Maki looked at him with wide eyes and held her head again.

“Headache Medicine!” he exclaimed again, louder this time.

Maki squinted, blindsided by the sudden up in volume. Kaito was quick to apologize and then zoom off to check everywhere that she had already checked. She stared at him as he doubled back and still returned as fruitless as she had.

“We might have to pick some up on the way!” he said from across the apartment. He opened all of the cabinets in the bathroom and left them ajar. There was no medicine in the house at all.

She sighed and waved him back over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of a faux-epilogue here, but it fits better in the next chapter if it deserves to exist at all. We aren't done yet, we have a long way to go with Maki, still :)

**Author's Note:**

> Also if you're wondering what happened to Tsumugi or a reason why they were in a simulation, you'll find out! I actually have a little plot 8D
> 
> And yeah there are a lot of violations of "usual" hospital rules, but CH3 will help you figure out why that's moot.


End file.
